#33 - Emperor Norton

The boy woke them very early. He had pulled open the blackout curtains covering their bedroom windows and was bouncing at the foot of their bed.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” He shouted, clapping his hands.

Sarah rolled over, and shielding her eyes from the morning sunlight, said. “Joshua, what in the world?”

Her husband, John, kicked the bed sheets off. His eyes were still closed. “Birthday.” He said.

Sarah immediately perked up. “That’s right! Happy birthday buddy!”

Joshua was still bouncing. He started singing loudly. “Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear me-eee! Happy birthday to me!” By the end of the song, Sarah and John had joined in, substituting Joshua’s name in the appropriate spots. They sang with groggy morning voices.

John pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at his son. “Josh, I know you’re excited, but you’re not supposed to be jumping on the bed. You know that.” He said.

The boy stopped, but his expression remained defiant. “Hey! You can’t tell me what to do. Remember? Yesterday you guys said that today I’m the king!”

“That’s right. Today he’s the birthday boy. Today he’s the king.” Sarah said, rolling out of the bed.

John sat up. “Ok, but after today – after your reign has ended – no more jumping on the bed.”

Though they usually slept-in on Saturdays, they decided, at Joshua’s request, to have breakfast at a fast food restaurant that offered both an indoor playground and free paper crowns for children. John and Sarah sat at a small table inside the play area, eating sausage biscuits and circular hash browns while Joshua climbed on the brightly colored playground equipment.

“Josh, come and eat your biscuit.” John called to him.

“I’m finished.” Joshua said.

“You asked for it.” Sarah said. She picked up partially crumbled biscuit. “Look, you’ve barely touched it.”

“I’m not hungry!” Joshua shouted.

John and Sarah looked at one another. “It’s not worth starting a fight. I’ll wrap it up for him and he can eat it later.” She said.

“It’s his birthday.” John said, agreeing with her.

With the biscuit in Sarah’s purse, the three of them climbed into the car and drove downtown to the Red Leaf City Zoo. Joshua had always loved the zoo, and Sarah and John thought it might make a great surprise for his birthday.

“Where are we going now?” He asked from his child’s safety seat in the rear of their minivan.

“It’s a surprise for your birthday.” John said, looking at him in the rearview mirror.

Joshua seemed satisfied with the answer. He was still wearing the king’s crown from the restaurant, looking out the window like royalty, surveying the vast breadth of his kingdom. When they pulled into the zoo parking lot, it was as if he had awakened from a daze.

“This is the zoo, right?” He asked.

“Yes it is!” Sarah said, turning in her seat to face him.

“Surprise!” John said.

Joshua’s face remained blank. They parked, and as they were walking toward the front entrance, Sarah said, “You don’t look very happy. Don’t you want to see all the animals?”

“Yeah, you love the zoo, buddy.” John said.

Joshua looked like he was thinking, and then he said, “I love the zoo, but today, I want to ride. Not walk.”

“You wanna ride?” John said.

“Yeah, on the thing with the wheels.” Joshua said, skipping ahead of them. They were nearing the entrance.

“Like a stroller?” Sarah asked.

“Strollers are for babies.” John said, catching up with him. “You’re seven years old! You’re a king. Kings don’t ride strollers.”

“I want to.” Joshua said.

They paid ten dollars to rent one of the zoo’s antique strollers for the day. Though Joshua was small for his age, he still looked oversized squeezed into its brown metal seat. John and Sarah took turns pushing him along the paved and winding pathways of the zoo. They visited the monkey house, the aviary, the aquarium, and the petting zoo, where a black spotted goat tried to eat Joshua’s crown. John pushed him all the way to the north end of the zoo to see the giraffes. Joshua sat in the stroller gazing through the wrought iron fence at the enormous creature.

“He’s a giant, right?” Joshua said.

“He’s pretty big.” John said. He knelt down beside the stroller and said, “Buddy, are you ready to walk for a while?”

“No. I want to ride still.” Joshua said, staring up at the giraffe.

They moved on from the giraffes, and as they passed a large public map of the zoo, Sarah said, “Hey, look.” She pointed to a yellow square on the map labeled The Kingdom of the Cats. “You want to go see some lions and tigers?”

“Yeah!” Joshua said. “Let’s go see the lions and the tigers!”

The Kingdom of the Cats was a very large pit, designed to look like a jungle, and sectioned by tall dividers meant to look like the rocky face of a cliff. Each section contained a different species of large feline; spotted leopards, Bengal tigers, a cheetah. In the very last section, a very tired looking lion slept in the shade of a faux plaster banyan tree.

“Look there, Josh. That’s a lion, the King of the Jungle!” John said, pointing over the guardrail.

From his sitting position in the stroller, Joshua couldn’t see. He stretched his body and neck, but finally gave up and said, “I wanna see! Get me out!”

John lifted him out of the seat and put him on his shoulders. Joshua adjusted himself, straddling John’s neck. “Where is it?” He asked. 

John pointed to the sleeping lion. As soon as Joshua located it, he began to roar. “Raaawwww! Raaawwww!” But the lion didn’t stir.

“He’s not the king, I’m the king!” Joshua said. He raised his hands to his mouth, curving his fingers to form a tiny megaphone. Again, he roared, “Raaaawwww! Raaawww!”

“Let’s go look at some other animals.” Sarah said, trying to quiet him.

“No!” Joshua shouted. “I want to see him move!”

“Yep, let’s go.” John said, reaching up to take the boy from his shoulders.

Joshua began to squirm, flailing his legs. “You have to do what I say. I’m the king!”

In his effort to remain perched on John’s shoulders, the paper crown on his head toppled off and dropped over the guardrail, into the deep ravine separating them from the lion’s pit. “My king hat!” He cried. “Get it!”

Sarah saw an opportunity. “Nope, it’s gone. Too bad.”

“I need a new one.” Joshua said.

“That’s against the rules, Josh. You only get one crown, and once it’s gone, you’re not the king anymore.” Sarah said.

Joshua was sitting in the stroller again, pouting. His face was getting red.

“Yep, that’s right.” John confirmed. “You’re still the birthday boy, so you still get cake and ice cream later. But you’re not the king anymore. You can’t tell mommy and daddy what to do anymore.”

Joshua was silent, his face scrunched in anger.

“The short reign of King Joshua has come to an end.” Sarah said.

As they walked away from The Kingdom of the Cats, she leaned in close to John and whispered, “Thank God.” 

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To learn more about the incredible life of the real Joshua Norton, read the original Wikipedia article HERE.